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Shoot the Curl

May 18, 2018

 

 

I was listening more than watching the marathon TV airing of Titanic. 

 

 Young and hopeful, Jack runs full speed along the adventurous road of life. Rose meanders the  gangway planks of the grandest ship set to carry her toward her predetermined destiny.

 

Both are blissfully unaware of the colossal, white, beauty bobbing in the water intent on intruding in their love affair.

 

At 9:30 PM my phone rang... it’s my son, a twenty-year old college student. He was sitting down to his dinner before striking the match on a session of midnight oil studying.

 

9:30 PM...Him gearing up, me winding down…

 

We talked about school, his grocery list, and his passion for an online card game…the conversation turned, he asked me about…ME.

 

Six weeks earlier I made a promise to myself to be Present, to be Grateful, to be Mindful… all the guru words rolled into a nice tidy ball.

 

I took this turn in conversation as the gift it was and embraced full-heartedly the door my child had swept open.

 

I found myself talking with him, as I would a dear friend, sharing tidbits of my TRUE self.

 

We're often seen singularly by those we interact with the most.

 

Honestly, my “MOM” hat is a cap I’ll never retire regardless of its stains and threadbare condition. But it’s increasing important to remind myself I own ‘Hats’ for every occasion- adventure, business, family, friends, silly, serious…

 

 For this conversation, I bravely tugged on my hat of dreams....

 

The hat which had been begging for some time on my head. My creative, passionate, anything's possible, swing for the fences hat.

 

A hat I set aside or push to the back of the closet because it’s too colorful, too tight, may provoke unwanted scrutiny, or worse…start people talking.

 

The accessory which opens the floodgates for stirring, hot, and pumping, through the veins clarity of a wide-eyed teen, where I can view the horizon in crisp focus without corrective lenses.

 

“Wow,” my double decade child remarked, as I shared my dream adorned head. “I can hear your passion. Do it Mom, and don’t get discouraged when it gets hard.”

 

His words were the biggest boost to my spirit.

 

My inner guru is growing louder each day.

 

Caution: Being Present comes with deafening volume.

 

Once adjusted, I realized my commitment to be present, grateful, and mindful, was larger than any single word or action, but merely a choice of intention.

 

Merely…just… only…simply… A new level of self-spurred anxiety arose.

 

It gathered around me, like a storm-of-the-century wave, cresting and curling overhead poised to crash down on me with unfathomable weight.

 

The wall of water, My fear.

 

Fear of missteps. Fear snags in my spanx. Fear of Big Time Failure.

 

I needed to prepare for the battle against my fear. I needed to be brave enough to fail BIG.

 

To allow the wave to gather, marvel at its energy, and figure out how to shoot the curl. ~Figuratively, my days of adorning scraps of spandex are far behind me.


Titanic’s Rose has decided to leave her fiancé and the paved path securing financial survival. She embraces Jack and tells him when the ship docks she’s getting off with him. -cue music and lingering Hollywood kiss-

 

Riding the rush of their whirlwind tumble into love and the burst of possibility, Jack grins at Rose and says, “This is crazy.”

 

“I know,” she replies, tears of joy brimming.

 

“That’s why I trust it.”

 

Like Rose, I may be straying from the carefully lined asphalt and a monstrous wave may be gathering…but as a kid I could run barefoot down a gravel road while wearing scraps of spandex.

 

The tiny voice in me is gathering...

 

Today, I walked my intentional purposeful path straight into a room full of women who’d conquered the same path.

 

I invited the energy of the room to fill me as I stood and introduced myself.

 

Scary yes, but aren’t great things worth a bit of adrenaline?

 

There's a surging, cresting wave beneath me...I've decided to ride the energy.

 

Scary? Yep…and precisely why I’ll trust it.

 

Chat soon ~ Laura

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